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Green bean casserole
11.08.04 (12:55 pm)   [edit]
Contrary to popular [url=http://www.road-dog-productio...]belief[/url], I was not a good panelist yesterday.

There was a group of people with me from different backgrounds, including the esteemed activist [url=http://www.planetout.com/news...]Frank Kameny[/url] (whose words of empowerment got me all fired up again). I was quiet for the most part, kicking myself a couple of times for not answering certain questions that demanded one from me (the lack of minority representation both in front and behind the camera) and having to answer one that was so ego-enhancing I wanted to gag myself (name all the festivals your film has screened at).

I felt bad for some of the guests who barely spoke up, and I had a feeling that we (except for Mr. Kameny, but that's a given) were all jumpy and too self-conscious to express our thoughts.

A good learning experience nevertheless. Special thanks to Jerry and [url=http://www.road-dog-productio...]David[/url] for attending.

~

So like, there's this girl in our office who's in her late twenties but still has a high-school mentality when it comes to cliques and such (e.g. I will pretend I didn't see you when my car pulls up next to yours at the stop light by sticking my hand up to the side of my face).

We shall call her Ms. T.

Ms. T and Ms. P are not on friendly terms because her buddy, Ms. Y, is in the middle of a power-trippy feud with Ms. P. Hence, they've both been giving Ms. P the cold shoulder at every given opportunity.

Ms. T has never been well-liked by many of us, and of course, I have to respond to her immaturity by ignoring her too since I'm friends with Ms. P.

I was trying to explain to Ms. P that Ms. T was considered by some as being "white-trash." Ms. P never understood why, and I failed to give her any credible evidence as to why she is one.

Until the other day when we both had lunch with Kasia, and I asked her if she had a reasonable explanation as to why Ms. T is what she is:

"Anyone who cooks green bean casserole in a Crock-Pot underneath her desk [i]is[/i] white trash."
 
Looking ahead
11.05.04 (8:21 am)   [edit]
I'm scheduled to appear in this [url=http://outtakesdallas.org/sch...]panel[/url] (while repeating the following mantra: [i]thou shall not be the Angry Queer Asian[/i]).

The second reading of "[url=http://pitstopmovie.moonfruit...]Pit Stop[/url]" will be taking place at the same venue next Sunday, with the addition of our new cast member, the wonderfully demented [url=http://www.imdb.com/name/nm09...]Mateo Zeske[/url].

Both events are fabulously followed by brunches. Yay! Thank you [url=http://outtakesdallas.org]Outtakes[/url].

Art is comforting at this time of despair and anxiety. Free your mind and see [url=http://www.birthmovie.com/]this[/url], [url=http://rogerebert.suntimes.co...]this[/url] and [url=http://imdb.com/title/tt03750...]this[/url].

Or listen to [url=http://www.morelworld.com/luc...]these[/url] [url=http://www.amazon.com/exec/ob...]outstanding[/url] [url=http://images.amazon.com/imag...]releases[/url].

Concurrent with James and David's [url=http://bconfusion.blogspot.co...]MicroCinema[/url] idea, I'm gonna look into putting together a small group of acting troupe again, where we meet every other week to act/write/direct little scenes. A no-assholes policy will be strictly enforced.
 
The day after
11.03.04 (5:54 pm)   [edit]

I woke up this morning from a nightmare I hardly remember to a day I've almost forgotten about; until the electorial results stared at me from Jerry's computer monitor.

The nightmare didn't seem that bad after all.

It was another two hours before the result was made official. It's not like my skepticism hasn't prepared me already, but come lunch time at my office, a sting was felt deep in my gut - so sharp that I felt momentarily paralyzed.

This stung even further, and I had a flashback two nights back in the parking lot of Loews, where James asked me if I have ever experienced any discrimination before.

I haven't, fortunately enough. Not once for my sexuality, never for my ethnicity.

But today, reading these news of joy from Jesus-loving conserv atives really hurt. To paraphase Ricky Fitts in "American Beauty":

Sometimes there's so much hatred in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

Then I thought: what if the Right is right? Wouldn't heaven be such a sucky place if God does in fact play by their rules?

I was taking a lot of this personally, but who could blame me? We've been so mispresented and misunderstood, our demand for an equal existence as immediate a threat as terrorism. I mean, really? Are we that scary to the average American? Where does the buck stop?