I haven't been (mentally) present around some of my friends lately. My mind drifting off to a million other things as they discuss the triumphs and woes of everyday life. Predictably, film is occupying my thoughts: festivals to submit, new scripts to write, stuff I wanna see, people I need to get in touch with...

Everything else is seemingly secondary, as I find myself unable to relate when someone complains about credit card debt or marital issues at home. I'm not proud of myself either when I start to analyze some of their problems in cinematographic terms, like, wouldn't it be so dramatic if I shot this conversation from the corner of the door outside?

I fought my urge to watch my Netflix rentals, opting to spend time at Kasia's  instead; carvi ng my first pumpkin and greeting the trick-and-treaters in her neighborhood. It was nice to be in the presence of everyday life again, just being happy with really normal stuff; finding the right candles to fit into the pumpkins, setting up lights on the sidewalk so the kids won't trip in the dark, or handing out extra Kit-Kats to the ones who've put in effort into their costumes.

As the night fell and I laid down on her front porch, looking upwards to the trees filtering the sky above, I laughed quiet ly to myself: it's ab out time to stop and look and appreciate all that's around. It's not all cinema you know. And really, there's no film if we stopped living.

~

Went to a party last night where we celebrated the b-days of Kara, Aimee, Cammy and Adan. Highlight of the evening was the presentation of a twisted little gift from David and Curtis. The boys and I also discussed a recent film dev elopment that got us all giggly at heart. Exciting times indeed.

~

I digress: "Saw" was pretty entertaining. Some clever moments here and there, but what really surprised me was Cary Elwes' occassional awful acting. I concluded afterwards that it was the quality of his voice that turned me off more than anything else. There was just something about it that sounded terribly "actor-ish," resembling the one-note performance s you usually find on late-night TV. Was it just bad direction? Using the wrong takes? Or a simple case of being miscast?  Shit, he wasn't even this weak in that Alicia Silverstone psycho chick flick. 

See David's political spot here. It will also be on KERA's "Frame of Mind" on October 22nd and 29th.

Steven's biz was voted Best Cupcake in the Dallas Observer.

Indie superstar sightings at James'.

The 2nd reading of "Pit Stop" is confirmed. Brunch will follow and the starving artists shall be fed (I hope).

~

"Primer" is an ambitious debut, and although it wasn't a film I embraced completely, I certainly admired it thoroughly. What surprised me the most was Shane Carruth's assured sense of style (those designer closing credits!) and technique (those calculated soft-focuses!). Definitely not traits I would expect from someone who comes from a math/engineering
background. In Shane's world, geek is chic and white collars are hot. The Sundance Grand Jury Prize was no fluke. It's obvious why this stood out amongst all the other six or seven-figure dramedies.

~

Ms. P was planning to attend her secret crush's birthdy party on Saturday night, but a series of nonsensical phone-tags with a mutual friend hinted
that her presence was unwelcomed.

She sat on my couch and proceeded to nag about how mean girls can get and the games they play on each other.

Then she started to cry.

I could relate to her loneliness, to her need to fit in: meeting the right people, having friends you trust. One of the hardest things after you
graduate from college and move to a new town is the challenge of starting over and finding your place in the world. This takes time. A very long time. It took me close to four years before I found my niche.

"Fuck them. She sounds like a Dallas cunt anyway."

"You're right - she is a bitch."

"Was she in a sorority?"

"Yeah."

"That figures."

I may be stereotyping, but strangely enough, Ms. P's mother asked the same question after she told her the incident the very next day.

~

Went to a sneak peek of "Vera Drake" last night with Jerry. Once again, Mike Leigh has demonstrated his gift in getting the best outta his actors - a quality I hope I'll eventually excel in too. Although Imelda Staunton commaded attention with her deeply felt performance as the titled character, I was particularly drawn to Alex Kelly, who played her timid daughter Ethel and the quiet relationship she develops with Reg (Eddie Marsan: the same actor who portrayed Benicio Del Toro's preacher mentor in "21 Grams"), an equally introverted man who was brought up in a very poor family. A scene that many found amusing was when Vera, on bail, spends the last Christmas with her family before she is sentenced. She breaks the gloomy tension in the room by passing a box of chocolates around. When it gets to Reg, he announces that this is the best Christmas he has ever had, before popping a piece into his mouth. It was ironic, of course, and somewhat inappropriate. Nevertheless, it was also very meaningful. The man was simply grateful that he was in the company of loved ones, and there was enough food and enough chocolates for everyone. In the worse of times, we sometimes forget what we still have.

Somebody remind me this the next time I rant about stupid shit.

~

Someday I'll have a dog. In the meantime, I have Baxter, who never fails to wake me up in the weekends with his shaky ass and sniffy nose.

I initially instructed everyone to project their voices in the dressing room, where we all rehearsed with everybody's favorite line on page 18: "I WANNA CUM ON THAT HOT FACE OF YOURS."

Nevertheless, I was a nervous wreck in the first ten minutes or so, sneaking back and forth between my front seat and the stage, either to adjust the standing mics or to whisper in an actor's ear, reminding them to "SPEAK LOUDER!"

For the most part, the audience understood what was going on. I was worried that people were gonna lose track of its narrative without the aid of images and drift off, but the actors managed to keep everyone engaged enough (a big thanks to y'all again). Some scenes got bigger laughs than expected, which prompted me to crack up a couple of times too (as David described, it looked like I was having a seizure).

There was an extensive Q&A after, and it was a huge relief to hear that I managed to accurately r ender the small-town, working-class lifestyle. A couple of suggestions were thrown around: some valid, some odd, and others a matter of personal preference. I took everything like a sport, acknowledging criticisms or opinions good heartedly even if I disagreed in the back of my head. I was also fortunate to be reassured by my "DEADROOM" confidants, who knew me well enough to tell me what to take note of and what to disregard.

Overall, I felt good about the evening, even enlightened in some ways. I had a confidence jolt in realizing that I could potentially shoot the film with the extent of sexuality I was aiming for without alienating the audience, just as long as its humanity comes first.

Thanks again to all who (ahem) came. Oh yeah - I think you should really consider doing one for "Rocketman" as well.

The staged reading of "Pit Stop" will take place in Fort Worth next week. Here's the scoop:

Date: October 6, 2004 (Wednesday)
Time: 8:00PM
Venue: Four Day Weekend Theater (directions)
Admission: FREE!

A big thanks to Todd Camp at QCinema for putting this event together. Gratitude also goes out to:

David - your feedback for the first draft was invaluable (as always). I hope you'll like the revisions.

James - your vote of confidence and your willingness to be the narrator, reading some of my favorite words like suck, fuck and cum in your man’s man’s man’s voice.

Jerry - I know you still think the script "has no plot." I shall prove you wrong somehow. Thanks for being supportive nonetheless.

Karen - for making sure that the dialogue sounds country enough. Yes, I've thrown in some more sweetie too wherever appropriate.

Jason - your kind words and encouragement mean so very much. Here's to a successful year at NYU and a big bright musical debut on Broadway.

Alessandro - for 'em sexy colors on the flyers and your intro to some new music that brought further inspirations.

Curtis - I absolutely love what you've come up with so far. I know you'll knock my ears out with your tunes when the evening comes.

The Actors: Jack, Mark, Kelly, Jim, Alan, Karl, Carol Anne and Blake - your participation in something that doesn't add anything to your resumes (or your bank accounts) is very reassuring. I only wished we had a longer rehearsal time. Or better, actually shooting the film.

Daniel - for the mention in Dallas Voice and for all the other ones in the past. I'm forever grateful.

I also just received an e-mail from Outtakes in Dallas: it sounds like they may be interested in booking us for another reading in November. Yay!

Other plugs: David's "Primer" interview with Shane Carruth and go, go, go see "The Motorcycle Diaries."